Angel Notes
by Kaeera
Summary: One Digidestined writes a letter to another - revealing hidden secrets nobody knew. Too bad this person will never receive it...(Tear-jerker). Sequel uploaded.
1. Angel Notes

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Digimon or the characters I use in this story. No money is made with it. **  
Summary:** One Digidestined writes a letter to another - revealing hidden secrets nobody knew. Too bad this person will never receive it...Tear-jerker.  
******Rating:** PG**  
Genre:** Drama/Angst  
**E-Mail:** kaeerayahoo.de  
**Notes**: Yep, I wrote another Digimon story. It's an one-shot, and it's kind of sad...I won't tell you why, just let me say one thing: character death.

* * *

**Angel Notes**  
by Kaeera

* * *

_If you are an angel, then may somebody let you read this note…_  


  
  
Gosh, I can't believe I am doing this. Sitting here  
and writing this letter to you as if...as if...no, I  
don't want to go there. Somebody once told me that it  
helps to talk about things instead of bottling them  
inside. That's what I am doing right now, talking.  
Talking via written words because I find it hard to  
Talk about what I'm feeling out loud.  
I've never been very fond of writing letters, you  
know. I mean, there was never a need to write letters! If I  
wanted to talk to you, I could, and there was always someone  
nearby as well. I've exchanged some e-mails with Mimi, but most  
of the time, we've talked over the phone.  
I cannot do that anymore. At least not with you.  
  
In the past, there was never any reason for me to sit down  
in my stuffy room while the sun was shining  
to write a letter. I would just call you  
and everybody else when I needed to talk to any of you!  
But now, I have to since it's the only way I can  
tell you this.  
Sounds like a mushy love letter, doesn't it? But it's not.  
No, I won't confess my love for you -  
you are my friend, one of the best friends I've  
ever had, but I couldn't love you.  
Maybe I would have been able to if...if you had decided to  
stay, but not now. I don't want  
to love you, it hurts too much, can you  
understand that? It would destroy me.  
  
Duh, I'm getting off the subject here. I wanted to write this letter  
because I...don't know, I just need  
to tell you all the things I was never able to tell you in person.  
You left us far too soon, you left  
us before any of us could tell you how  
important you were to us all.  
You had the ability to make us laugh, even when the  
situation was desperate. Do you know how  
much I envied you for that gift? No, you probably never knew.  
You went through life believing that  
we're all perfect while you were just a small, dumb  
clown. Let me tell you one thing, you never were.  
In fact, you were my precious friend, although you  
never realized it. You were there for us when  
we needed you, you never let us down. In all the years  
I knew you, you always  
managed to bring a smile to my face.

How?

By just being you, of course. Yeah, it sounds weird, I know. But  
you were always so carefree and cheerful and full  
of energy...so very unlike me.  
I've often been told that I think too  
much. And it's true, I think too much about the world  
and the terrible things that are happening and I worry  
about the future. Then I get depressed  
because I don't want anything bad happen to my  
friends. And you, you lived your life without ever thinking  
about tomorrow or what would happen to us after graduation,  
you just never seemed to care!

While the rest of us always thought of the future, you were a constant  
reminder that we live in the present. More than once  
you cheered me up simply by telling me silly  
stories or doing crazy things. Spur-of-the-moment  
actions were your trade mark.

I miss that, you know? I miss you being around to cheer me  
up. The days are getting dark and grey without  
you around to brighten them up.

The weird thing was that you never seemed to know what  
a special person you were. I mean, of course, you  
always gloated and bragged about how good you  
were and how you could beat everyone, but I could always  
see the scared boy beneath the facade. You actually told me  
once that you felt as if you could never reach us.  
When I asked you why, you just shrugged, mumbling  
something about 'better marks' and 'more intelligent'.

Oh, how very wrong you were. It may be true that you  
had your problems at school - I like you far too much  
to ever lie to you, even when you can't hear me anymore –  
but that never meant we looked down on  
you just because your grades weren't as good as ours.  
I'll admit, sometimes we made fun of it, but...well, times  
like that just came over me without warning and I'm  
quite ashamed of my behaviour now.  
Luckily, the teasing dwindled down over the years, because I  
always knew that it made you uncomfortable.

You weren't as good in school as the rest  
of us, but it never meant you were less of a  
person.

Look at Ken - he's a genius and he was your best friend.  
Not because you were as smart as him, but because you  
had different qualities. A kind heart, a cheerful attitude,  
never ending hope, forgiveness, compassion,  
determination, and strength. But most of all, you were a  
wonderful friend.

I can feel the tears rolling down my cheeks as  
I write this. It's horrible to have to use the past tense all  
the  
time. It reminds me so much of the fact that you  
aren't here any longer. That you left us and we'll  
never be able to laugh with you again. See, my face is  
wet with tears but I just can't stop crying.

Oh, why did you have to die?

It's a stupid question. I know very well how and why  
you died,  
after all, I witnessed your death. And believe me,  
it's not something I think of often.  
Fact is that since your death everything has changed.  
We aren't the same anymore. Ken barely leaves his  
room, he's always hiding and piling himself with work.  
Iori has become more solemn than ever.  
Miyako...well, she has lost a lot of her spirit.  
I believe she feels guilty – you two always used to  
fight quite a bit, and I know she feels bad about it  
now. She isn't as energetic as she used  
to be, and it makes me sad to see her like that.

Takeru has lost his smile. A scary thought, huh? He's  
such a gentle boy, and now he's always scowling.  
He doesn't want to admit it, but he misses you deeply.  
After all, you two were best friends even though you  
argued constantly.

And me? Pathetic, little Hikari?

I spend most of my time crying. A lot.

Yeah, I know. You wouldn't want me to cry. You always  
hated it when I'd cry! But I can't change it. It hurts  
too much, and everything seems to remind me of you...

Why did you do it? Why did you protect us? Why did you  
jump in front of us?

I didn't want to act you like a hero. I'd rather have  
died myself than face a world without you.

But maybe you had the same thoughts. Maybe that's why  
you protected us with your life. And now, now you are  
a hero, and you don't even know it.

Because you're dead.

You saved us and you saved both worlds by sacrificing  
your own life. You achieved the thing you always  
wanted most – becoming a superhero! Everybody  
knows who you are these days and they speak your  
name with awe. There are pictures of you in all the papers  
and quite a few politicians have even devoted their  
speeches to you. In our school, there's a big banner  
with your name on it.

Hell, they even made you a statue! After all, you are  
the sole reason that our two worlds still exist!

But why does that matter any more? You are dead and can't  
even enjoy your newfound hero status. You can't enjoy being a  
celebrity. You can't show off to Takeru. You can't  
even fight with him anymore, and though I'd never have  
expected this - I miss your bickering!

I guess there's never been a more horrible moment in  
my life before. I remember it so clearly, the fight,  
the attack aimed at me and Miyako, and I closed  
my eyes, fully expecting things to end - but the  
end never came. When I finally opened my eyes again, I  
saw your body tumble to the ground - and  
Veemon, slowly dissolving into bits of Digital Data. The  
cheerful blue guy just disappeared from our lives, just  
like you!

You died right before my eyes, at the age of eighteen.  
Bloody eighteen years! Yeah, I know, I'm not supposed to  
swear, but I can't help it.  
Just a few more weeks and we would have graduated and  
gone to the university. How ironic.  
You never received your final results. You  
never learned that you had the best sports mark in our class,  
nor did you learn that your results were  
better than anyone expected, especially in English...  
You will never know, and I guess that's what gets me  
so down. The finality behind those words. Never again.

Never.

Maybe you can see me, wherever you are now. Maybe you  
are shaking your head because I'm sitting in my room,  
crying over this letter. Who knows, maybe you are an  
angel - you'd certainly qualify for it. I can just  
imagine you with white wings, and that mischievous smile on  
your face, telling me that everything is okay...  
But it isn't.

I wanted to tell you how much I miss you. How much  
everybody misses you. The danger has passed and life  
has returned to normal, but it's a normal that doesn't  
include you anymore, and I don't want that!

But those were not the only things I wanted to tell  
you. I thought we had all the time of the world,  
so I didn't hurry to solve some of the misunderstandings  
between us - partly because I forgot about them, partly  
because I was afraid.

Misunderstanding Number One: I never hated you.

Despite what others said, despite how mean I behaved towards  
you at times, I never, ever hated you. I thought that you  
were annoying, yes, that I must admit is true, and  
there were times when I just wanted to be left alone  
with you. But hatred? No. I always saw you as a friend,  
from the first day we met. A weird, eccentric friend  
maybe, but a friend nonetheless. And over the years  
you matured, although you somehow managed to keep  
your youthful spirit.

Misunderstanding Number Two: I never looked down on  
you.

Although you could get on my nerves with your sometimes  
Stupid questions, or your failed exams, or your  
miserable homework, I never thought lesser of you.  
You had different qualities. We're all different for a reason.  
While Ken is a genius when it comes to knowledge, he's hopelessly  
lost when it comes to friendship. And you, you never  
got the hang of studying, but you were one of the best  
friends anyone could have ever had. So, you and Ken  
complemented each other perfectly.  
Sometimes I even looked up to you! Yes, there were  
times when I admired you!

...I'm starting to sound pathetic, aren't I? Sorry. That's  
not good. You'd laugh at me. Especially because we  
both would know that what I wrote above is not the truth.  
No. That's the truth how I would have wanted it, now  
that you are gone, but unfortunately, I'm not as nice  
as everyone believes.

Okay, I will start again, and this time I will be  
honest. No more  
Little-Angel-Kari-doesn't-hate-anyone-speeches.  
Honestly.

Believe me, there were times when I hated you. With  
all my soul and passion. There were times  
when I was so jealous of your cheerful attitude  
that I wanted to storm out of the room and never come  
back. There were times when I wanted to slap you  
because you said something so incredibly stupid that  
it turned my stomach. There were times when I felt  
superior to you because you failed yet another easy  
exam, while I got a high score. And there  
were times when I felt inferior to you because  
depression and sadness couldn't stop you from  
continuing to live life to the fullest.

That's the harsh truth. Surprised? I'm only human,  
you know. I'm not perfect, despite what everyone seems to  
think.

There were also times when I enjoyed being with you  
because you made me laugh. There were times when  
I admired you for your strength. There were times  
when I wanted you beside me just because I felt  
so secure whenever you were around. There were times  
I wanted to hug you for being so incredibly  
cute and charming.

It's strange, isn't it? But I guess that's how it is.  
It is impossible to remain perfect all the time.

I don't hate you now. It's often like that with  
things you take for granted. You only realize  
how precious they are once you've lost them. That's the  
way of life, I suppose. I know what a wonderful  
friend you were. And I know that I will - we all will –  
miss you terribly. I already am.

You have a gravestone now, do you know that? I wonder  
what you would say if you knew about it. It's  
nothing big, just a small stone with a silver plate on  
it. I visit it quite often. Once, I met  
your sister there. She was crying. I believe it was  
the first time I ever saw her do that. She was crying  
because you are gone. And for the first time in my  
life, I was able to hold a civil conversation  
with Jun. You know, I always thought she was kind of  
shallow, but now I realize that there is more to  
her than she lets show - just like you.  
And she misses you so deeply that it hurts.

The fact that you are dead still doesn't register yet.  
Up until now, we'd always managed to get out of all possible  
dangerous situations without so much as a minor  
injury. We fought and we won, and I guess we got used to it.  
Well, we won again, but the price we had to pay  
for the victory was far too high. How naive were we, thinking  
that it would be easy! How foolishly we acted!

When the situation grew dire, our digimon were  
losing and we could do nothing to help them -  
you gave your life.  
I wonder what you were thinking in those last few minutes.  
Were you sad? Did you regret it? Or was your death so  
quick that you didn't even notice your heart stop beating?

Sometimes I wonder if I could have been brave  
enough to do the same. Would I have given my life  
to rescue my friends, just as you did in the blink  
of an eye? You didn't even hesitate, and that's what  
fascinates me the most.  
You acted on instinct. Protecting Us. Protecting Me.  
I...would hesitate. I know that I would. I would  
ponder the consequences, and I would have been afraid. Of the  
pain. Of being dead. Of losing everything that was  
important to me.

My hand is trembling. Funny, huh? I haven't stopped  
crying since I started writing this letter. Yes, I  
know, I shouldn't cry. I should go on with my life and  
laugh and be happy - you'd want me to do that.

I promise I will make an effort. But right now...right  
now things need to be said. For once, I'm  
letting my emotions run their course. I need it. And  
you deserve it, whether you believe it or not.

Your funeral was horrible. Everybody was there. All  
the digidestined, even those from Mexico, and Mimi  
came from New York. Your soccer team was there,  
dressed in uniform to honour you. Some  
school mates, some teachers, and of course, your family  
were there too. The graveyard was pretty crowded, and  
everybody was so solemn.

Miyako was sobbing desperately, while Iori looked so  
grave. It must be difficult for him - he's  
already lost his dad and now he's lost another important  
person.

Takeru was crying, too, babbling nonsense about how he  
didn't want to fight with you all the time and that  
he's sorry.

Ken was the worst, though. He didn't cry. He just stared.  
Stared at your coffin. Stared at it with a blank look  
in his eyes, Wormmon in his arms. For him, losing you  
must be terrible. He lost Osamu and was surrounded by darkness.  
Then someone pulled him out of it and forgave him –  
that someone was you. You showed him how to live again, and you  
became his friend, the person he trusted the most on  
this whole damn planet.

And now you're gone, leaving him to suffer.  
We have to pay close attention to Ken so he won't  
withdraw. He needs to know that he still has  
friends left. Even though we can't replace you.

I promise you that I will take care of him. I know how  
important your friendship was to you. He's a kind guy.  
He deserves better than that.

And me? Well...I didn't cry at your funeral, either.  
I just couldn't. I pretended to listen to all the people  
Giving their eulogies, but I was actually remembering all  
our times together. The fights in the  
Digital World. Eating ice-cream together. Meeting at  
the park with all the others.  
Soccer games, of course. School. The amusement park. So  
many memories...

I got lost in them at your funeral. They  
were far more pleasant than the reality at that  
point in time. However, I was forced down to planet  
earth when the final farewell came. The moment  
when we would see your still and lifeless body inside  
the coffin. Only if we wanted to, of course, but nobody refused.  
We all saw you, said a final goodbye, even Mimi, who's  
normally afraid of such things.

I went up to your coffin expecting the worst, but the  
sight that greeted me was strangely...peaceful.  
There even was a small smile on your lips, as if you  
were laughing at us for being so sad and depressed.

You just looked so like...you, that I nearly choked  
with tears. The same, unruly dark-red hair,  
the tanned skin, just a tad paler than usual, your  
favourite blue T-Shirt with flames on it, and of  
course, the goggles...

For a short, wonderful second I almost believed that  
It wasn't real. I almost believed you were alive and  
would jump up any minute, laughing and shouting what a  
great joke it had been.

But you didn't. You remained still, and that was what  
finally convinced me that you were indeed dead.  
Because  
you never could sit still. It just wasn't in your  
nature. You were always full of energy, always fiddling  
with something, running around or babbling silly stories...

Alive.

That's when it hit me. When all my walls crumbled and I  
started sobbing and fell to my knees.

I would never see you again. Never laugh with you.  
Never see your smile. I couldn't bear it. I  
't bear it and I hid my face in my hands  
and cried as if the world had come to an end.

The others fared no better. I've never seen so many  
people crying before in my life. I wonder what you  
would have to say about that if you knew. Probably make  
some rude comment and then laugh, telling us that crying  
doesn't solve your problems...

We all put something in your coffin. Sort of like  
a present for you, a plea to not to forget us wherever  
you might be.

Miyako placed with trembling fingers, a  
small box with sweets beside your body - your  
favourite kind, you ate them all the time.

Iori had treasured your Digivice after the fight and  
was now placing it on your chest, as a last  
token of your role as the Digidestined of  
Friendship and Courage. It was battered and dirty,  
a sign of the final battle. And when he placed it there, I  
had the impression that that was the only  
place it ever belonged.

Takeru...he held a small book, you know, one of those  
you can use to scribble notes on, and he  
silently placed it besides the sweets. I don't know  
what exactly, but I believe he did write  
something inside it. No one will ever know.

And me? I gave you my whistle. It may seem weird to  
the others, but I know exactly why I chose it - and I  
know that you would have approved.

When I first encountered Digimon, I had that whistle.  
Tai gave it to me, so that I could call him  
whenever danger was near. That whistle was very  
precious to me; a link to my brother, a measure  
of safety, and finally, a cherished memory of my first  
trip to the Digital World. It has been with me throughout  
all my adventures. Over the last few years, I've  
kept it in my desk, looking at it occasionally  
with a smile as I remembered the past.

Now the whistle is with you. I hope that - wherever  
you are - it will help you when you are in danger,  
and that it will remind you of us, your loyal friends  
who miss you terribly.

Are you watching me right now? I've never believed in  
Angels, but now I want to. If you are an Angel,  
then I hope you're reading this. Maybe you're hovering  
over my should right now...if you are, then I'm glad.  
Because that way, you will know how I feel. And  
that alone is enough to make my heart a little bit  
lighter.  
I owe my life to you, and that is something I will  
never forget.

I miss you. I miss your radiant smile that brightened  
my days. I miss your laughter, your jokes, your silly  
stories and your crazy ideas. I miss your  
stubborn attitude, your obsession with soccer,  
your gloating, your bad manners, your mischievous  
grin...

I miss you so much that I can't put it into words. So I  
can do nothing else but thank you.  
Thank you for being there for me when I needed you.

Thank you for saving mine and Miyako's life.

Thank you for cheering me up when I was depressed.

Thank you for your goofy smiles and uncouth comments,

like screaming 'Marmelade tastes better than Nutella'

in the middle of Math class.

Thank you for the silly pink rose you gave to me on  
Valentine's Day. I never told you, but I kept it in my  
room. It made me smile whenever I looked at it.

And finally, thank you for being my friend. I can't  
thank you enough for that, because you've been a  
wonderful friend. One of the best.

I miss you.

Hikari.

* * *

**A/N:** I know that my interpretation of the characters might be a little...unusal. However, I simply cannot believe that Daisuke has been the happy-go-lucky guy for all his life. Such a thing doesn't exist. Everybody feels depressed now and then, and the other Digidestined were kind of mean to him at times. In my little universe, Daisuke has always been hiding his real self, because he was too afraid to get hurt. It might be OOC, it might be illogical, but this impression is stuck firmly in my head and that's my Daisuke I like to write stories about.

Another thing: I know nothing about Japanese funerals. Or at least not enough to write safely about it. That's why I'm using western funeral traditions. I hope you can understand my reasoning when I mentioned Daisuke's funeral.

I'm thinking about writing a sequel to this story. My beta Netty pleaded me to bring Daisuke back to life, because she thought that his death was so sad, but I'm kind of against it. If a person is dead, well, then there's no miraculous waking up. It's just like reality. Dead people stay dead, and their friends continue to grieve. What are your ideas?

Kaeera


	2. Angel's Reply

Here's the sequel. Finally. Thank you for the many suggestions I received - some were pretty good and came close to the actual result. I'm glad that you all agreed with me - bringing him back to life would just destroy the essence of the story.

I don't know if there'll be more parts of this. It depends on my mood and my time. Since I'm working all day in Australia, that's really difficult. I'll probably just leave it like that. What do you think?

* * *

**Angel's Reply**

_by Kaeera_

_

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_

You made me cry.

I don't like it when I cry. Crying is for the weak and pathetic, and I always wanted to be strong. It was like the ultimate goal for me, be strong. Be so strong that nothing could hurt you. Well, I never reached that goal. But I never accomplished many things and I made so many mistakes along the way, so I guess it doesn't matter.

When you're able to look back on your life, you realize how often you took the wrong path, said and did things that you later regretted, and you wish you could change them. But it's not possible. No one can change the past, not even the dead.

The fact that I'm dead is something I still cannot believe. I mean, I was there, I rescued you without thinking and suddenly there was this incredible pain, searing through my veins. I heard screaming and it took me a while to realize that it had been me who'd screamed. Screaming in terror.

Then I heard Veemon's voice saying good-bye to me and I swear I cried, because I knew that I would never see him again and that hurt more than anything. After that everything became black for a while. Sounds pretty cliche, huh? But it really happened like that. Blackness engulfed me.

I don't know for how long, but when I finally saw something, I was in a different place. I was floating. Yep, Floating. If I wasn't sure I was dead before, this certainly convinced me. I was floating over Odaiba and I could see through my hands, how much more proof did I need? I was a fricking ghost, and it scared the hell out of me.

Then I wondered why I wasn't somewhere else, and all the things I'd ever read about death and afterlife came to my mind. When someone dies suddenly and things are left undone, that person sometimes gets a chance to complete those things before they go on to an after life . I guess that happened to me. Weird, huh?

After a while of thinking, I decided that my task was to say goodbye to all of you, so I went to make my rounds. Sounds like the mailman, doesn't it? I make my rounds , leave a scary note to everybody and well, that's it. Only my rounds are much, much sadder than any rounds the mailman ever makes.

I hate saying good-bye, I hate being emotional, and yet I snuck into your rooms and watched you grieving. If I had known how much pain my death would cause you, I might have reconsidered my decision. Really. I feel guilty, I don't want you to feel bad. But I can't change what's already happened.

I watched you crying, but there was no way I could comfort you. I saw Ken close himself off, refusing to talk with anyone. I watched Miyako scream in rage, I visited Cody who who stared only at the walls. I flinched when Takeru shouted at his brother. Then I visited you, Hikari, you who were writing a letter to me - and crying in the process. I was strangely touched when I looked over your shoulder and read what you wrote. It's strange to hear what another person thinks about you. Somehow, I felt bad - as if I had just entered your deepest thoughts. But then I reminded myself that the letter was meant for me only, so I continued reading.

And it made me cry. Hikari - gods, I'm not sure how to express my feelings, but I thank you. Thank you so very much, you don't know what this letter meant to me.

I was always unsure of myself, you were right about that.

When I bragged, when I showed off, it was always an act. Over the years, I became pretty good at it. But reading your words told me that you regarded me indeed, as a close friend. I feel more at peace now. The fact that I have to leave this world still depresses me, but at least I know that I had great friends, and that you supported me to the very end.

Just so you know, I don't regret it. Oh yes, there was a moment when I almost did regret it, but then I asked myself if I would have wanted you dead instead of me and I realized that I could never have lived with that guilt. So I'm glad I jumped in front of you. That way, only one of us had to die and I'd rather have it was me.

Don't put yourself down, Hikari. Don't tell me that your're not brave, that you're weak. That's simply not true. I know that you would have done the same. I just know. How?

Well, you see, when you are dead, you see things clearer than ever. And I know you. You are brave - maybe not as bold as me, nor do you have the infallible courage of Taichi, but when lives depend on it, you can be as brave as everyone else. It's just a matter of the heart. And believe me, every digidestined has that gift. Being strong in the direst situations. We would never have managed to come so far otherwise.

I really wonder what the afterlife will be like. Every day, I can feel myself fading a bit more, and I guess I only have a few weeks left until my spirit leaves this world completely. I have no idea what awaits me after that. Will I be reborn, like the digimon on the digital world? Will I go to another world? Or...will I simply vanish into nothing? I must admit, I'm a little scared. I can deal with monsters, but death is a totally unknown territory for me.

Will I see my grandparents again? Maybe I'll get to meet the spirit of Oikawa, that'd be great. Hey, maybe I can even have a talk with Iori's father, or with Osamu or with your old cat, what was her name...Duh, I can't remember.

What would it be like to talk with them? Maybe I can tell Iori's father that he can be proud of his son. That would be great. Well, I guess I find out soon enough, so no use worrying about it now.

So, I'm a hero, huh? Somehow, that thought doesn't make me as happy as I thought it would. You're right, being a hero is not fun when you're not there to enjoy it. It would be cool if the people recognized me on the streets, like the used to do with Ken. Heh, heh, it would make the problem of asking girls out a lot of easier. Girls swooning over me? I wouldn't mind that, not at all.

Actually, I don't care if there's a statue with my face on it. Really, I couldn't care less. What I really want is to be able to talk with you, to touch you, to just be alive. When I watch you, I feel so lonely that it hurts and I can't seem to stop crying. Even Veemon is gone, and suddenly I'm all alone in the darkness that surrounds me.

I can see you crying for me, and all I want is to be able to touch you, to tell you that everything will be okay, that you will find a new friend and that life goes on, but you can't hear my voice. When I try to touch you, my hand goes straight through your bodies and I feel nothing.

I want to be able to laugh with you, eat chips and drink a coke while laughing about a stupid old movie and... and... and...gosh, I'm crying again. What a pathetic ghost I must be...sitting in a park and crying while typing this message. For once I'm glad that nobody can see me.

I never used to cry so much. Maybe because I never had a reason to cry. Or maybe it's the fact that I'm a ghost that makes me so emotional, I've no idea. I just feel...so sad. I already miss you so much that I can't describe it in words.

It's nearly midnight and the park is empty. I'm sitting on the swing near the old maple tree, do you remember it? We used to meet there often in summer.

Now the place is deserted and it fits my current mood perfectly. The more I think about it, the more I realize I don't want to leave. I often imagined how the future would be...everyone going on their own path, but we'd still meet every so often and grow old together.

It was a lovely future - and now I will never be part of it. You'll grow older, but I won't be there to see you. I won't be there to play with your kids, I will never be able to attend any of our annual meetings with the international digidestined again...

Really,what am I writing? I didn't want to whine like this. Actually, I wanted to encourage you, I wanted to reply to your letter, but instead, I've only burdened you with my problems. I'm sorry.

I really, really want you to read this and I hope this works. Being a ghost has the unfortunate disadvantage that:

1. no one can see you

2. no one can hear you (ack! So lonely!)

3. you can't touch anything

But I realized that I have still my digivice and D-Terminal with me and I have to thank Iori for that, huh? Well, since it is a ghost digivice, I can touch it. So I'm writing this letter as an e-mail on my terminal, hoping that somehow, I will be able to send it to you.

I don't know if I have the strength or time to write one letter to each of my friends, so I'm simply including all the things I want to say in this letter. Hope you don't mind. Especially since I already know that I'm fading. I'm growing weaker with every passing second...

I guess typing this message is costing me more energy than I thought. I'd better hurry so I can be finished before I completely leave this world.

It's okay to cry, Hikari. When you need to cry, then cry. But please, don't forget to laugh sometimes too, okay? I want you to be happy. Even though my death might be hard on you, it's not as if the world has ended.

Takeru frightened me with his scowling face. I don't want him to be like that! Although we often fought, we were best buddies. I mean, the fighting was essential, otherwise wouldn't have been us! And I never felt insulted or, I don't know, hurt by it. So please, TK, keep smiling, don't lose your hope!

I feel the same about Miyako. True, she got on my nerves at times like no one else, and she sure knew how to rile my temper, but over all, we got along well. And I thank her for the sweets she gave me - like my ghost digivice, I held them in my hands when I was floating over the city. No idea how it happened, but they were there, as transparent as I was, and when I tried to eat one, I felt the sweet taste on my tongue. It could be that I only remembered the taste, but whatever it was, it made me feel better.

And thank you, Hikari-chan, for the whistle. I know how important it was to you, and I feel flattered that you gave it to me. After all, you couldn't know I would witness that noble gesture. I'm holding it in my hand right now, and it reminds me of all the times we fought and laughed together.

I feel guilty, however. The impact my death had on Ken was horrible. I visited him last, maybe because I was frightened, or maybe because I already suspected what I would see. I couldn't stand it! He's suffering so much because of me, and I cannot allow that to happen! I want to make him feel better, but there's no way that I can talk to him.

So please, Hikari, can you show him this e-mail? I'm glad you promised to take care of him. Ken was my best friend ever, and I can't bear to see him despair and wallow in darkness again.

So Ken, if you ever read this - and I hope you'll be able to - then please, don't give up. I won't tell you not to be sad, because I know that's almost impossible. You'll miss me, as much as I would miss you if our roles were reversed, but the pain will pass. You still have the other digidestined, and they are great friends. I want you to keep on living, I want you to be happy...

Maybe not right now, but later, when the pain of my death has lessened a bit. I don't regret my death, Ken, and I gave my life willingly. It was my choice and there was nothing you could have done, so don't blame yourself (I know that you have a habit of doing that!). It was my choice, understood?

I knew that I would die, and if I had the chance to do it over again, I'd do the same thing. Because it was **right** to do this. I rescued my precious friends, and my life is the price I had to pay for it. But I do not regret it.

I was happy to be your friend! It may be hard for you to understand this right now. I'm a selfish person, Ken. I'd rather die myself than see another person die. Because I couldn't bear the pain that would cause, I chose the easy way out (forgive my sarcasm).

And now I've left you in pain and alone and hurting, I never wanted that. So please, Ken, my friend - make an effort to continue living and to be happy. That's my last wish.

Misunderstandings? My life has been full of them, Hikari. True, there were times when you hurt me deeply, I won't deny that. There were times when I hated you all because you seemed to not care about me! And I wasn't an angel either. I'm hot-tempered, and I often say things without thinking, which hurts other people. I'm clumsy, and I am absolutely NOT sensitive. I can't recount the numerous times I hurt any of your feelings because I simply said the wrong thing.

Do you understand what I'm trying to say? We all had our faults. That makes us human. And despite those faults, we managed to stay friends. And I never thought of you all as anything other than my friends. My precious friends.

Sometimes I doubted you. That's why I was so glad when I read your letter. It proved to me that I never was wrong to believe in you. I'm sorry for ever doubting you. I'm incredibly sorry, but that was how I felt at that time.

Well, we're only human after all. We all have our faults and mistakes and selfish actions. Nobody is perfect, and nobody expects you to.

I'm sorry Hikari, but I'm getting weaker and weaker. It's getting harder to type, and I feel myself vanishing. What will happen to me? I don't know. But I'd better finish this letter and send it.

So, my final words to everyone, my goodbye.

Ken - I already told you before, don'tdespair. If I'm unable to continue living, then I want you to at least leading a happy life. Fulfill a dream for me. I've always wanted to go to Paris and visit the Eiffel tower. So if you ever go there, do it for me, okay? Climb it and think of me, your old buddy. Maybe you can shout out for me in the wind and who knows, I might even be able to hear you.

Other than that, be happy. I might be gone, but it's not the end of the world. You are not alone, Ken, you never were!

Iori - Honestly, it's hard for me to imagine what you're feeling right now. After all, mine is the second death you've witnessed.

We may be different, but I liked you nonetheless. Sometimes I envied you for your aloofness and calm demeanor in even the most dangerous situations, and for your cool temper. I always loved it when you were like that, someone with a sharp mind, always calculating, but with a kind heart. Stay like that, because it makes you a very special person and a valuable friend in even the direst situations.

Miyako - You old hag! Nonono, just kidding. Couldn't say goodbye without a little insult, could I? It wouldn't be me, after all. Don't feel bad because we fought so often. Believe me, it would have scared me if we hadn't fought every time we met. And I kind of enjoyed it. You're like me, hot-tempered and very prone to do something rash and stupid, and it was a relief to have a friend like that.

Takeru - I would feel much better if you'd start smiling again. You're such a nice guy, it doesn't seem right for you to scowl all the time. You'll lose all your fangirls if you continue like that! Only kidding! Just like Miyako, I had many fights with you, but you shouldn't feel bad about them. I felt as if they were an important part of our friendship, and most of the time I didn't take you seriously anyway. See, there's no need to scowl. Laugh again. Please? For me? Come on, it's not that hard! Just turn up the corners of your mouth! I know that you want to smile, do one...now, that's better, isn't it? Knew I would make you smile again. And if you didn't smile by now, you're hopeless.

Hikari - Finally. Since this whole letter is dedicated to you, I have no idea what to write in the end. Like I said before, it's okay to cry, just don't do it all the time - remember to go out and have fun. Do it for me, okay? I always loved to see you laughing. I always loved your smile. I would have liked to have seen you smile more often, but alas, fate decided otherwise.

I will miss you all. Hell, I'll miss you all so much it hurts! And my family. Despite what I always said, Jun was a great sister. My parents were a little bit odd, but I can't bring myself to think badly of them. I miss them all. I miss everything, soccer, the park, the digimon, hell, even school! Veemon...maybe he will be reborn. If that happens, then please take care of him. The little guy deserves a happy life, and a good digidestined. He's one of the best you can imagine. I miss him.

Gods, now I am crying. Is there a more pathetic sight than that? An invisible ghost who's crying invisible tears. I don't have much more time. I have to go. I have to leave you behind, but not before I send this letter. May it reach you. May it bring you my blessings, and my love. May it show you that I will never, ever forget the friendship we shared.

I miss you so much.

_Daisuke_

* * *

It was late at night when Hikari awoke from the sound of her beeping digivice. Tiredly, she rubbed her eyes, momentarily too confused to locate where the sound came from. Then she saw the blinking of her D-Terminal, which told her that she had a new message.

"What the hell..." she murmured and got up, softly walking towards the device. Who would send her a message at - she looked at the clock - two o'clock in the morning?

Carefully she took the D-Terminal and opened the mail screen. 'One new message' It said clearly. The brown haired girl rubbed her eyes, yawned and searched for the sender of the message. She read the name, shook her head, read it again...and stepped back with a sharp intake of breath.

Her eyes widened as she stared at the little screen as if it was cursed. It couldn't be. It wasn't possible. Was it? Maybe she was dreaming? Yes, she had to be dreaming. She'd wake up and it would all be a dream. Every moment now...Frantically, she looked around, but nothing changed. Taichi was still snoring peacefully at the other end of the room. He hadn't left his sister's side at all for the last few days, too afraid she might break down.

"This can't be...," Hikari whispered and stared at the blinking screen. "His D-Terminal is in his grave, no one could have written a message with it!"

With trembling fingers, she pushed the button to open the message.

'You made me cry...', she read and her eyes widened. Quickly, she scrolled down the message, until she could read the name of the person who wrote it - and then she screamed, letting the D-Terminal fall to the floor as if it had burned her.

"What?" Taichi's sleepy voice could be heard in the darkness. "Hikari?"

Confused, the older boy looked at his sister who was standing in the middle of the room as if she had seen a ghost.

"What's wrong?" When he didn't receive an answer, he quickly stood up, placing a comforting hand on the shoulder of his baby sister. "Hikari?" he questioned again softly when he saw that she was breathing heavily and tears were streaming from her eyes. She didn't reply, just pointed to the D-Terminal that was lying on the ground, illuminating the room with a soft blue light.

Taichi kneeled down and looked at the screen of the small machine. He immediately paled. "That's not possible!" He choked. "That's simply not possible. It's a joke, a sick and twisted joke...impossible, I can't believe...it's some sick joke, a sick and twisted joke!" His eyes blazed with fire. "If I ever get my hands on the person who wrote this, he'll wish he'd never been born!"

Hikari shook slowly her head. "It's not a joke."

"What?"

She looked at him, pale but determined. "It is not a joke."(

"But Hikari," Taichi protested. "You and I, we both know that Daisuke is dead, and that his D-Terminal and Digivice are buried with him. It is simply not possible, the dead don't write messages!"

But the girl just shook her head and took the D-Terminal back, reading the first few paragraphs. "He replied to my letter..." She whispered.

"Letter?" Taichi narrowed his eyes, not sure what to think of this.

Instead of answering, Hikari went to her desk and searched until she found a sheet of paper. With trembling hands, she showed it to her brother.

"I wrote this a few days ago. I felt so sad and alone and...and I wanted to let my feelings out somehow. So I wrote a letter to Davis and imagined that maybe he would be able to read it. I wrote everything that I felt, and in the end, I really felt better. I never thought that he would really read it..."

"So that means that this message is really from...", Taichi was unable to complete his sentence. The sheer magnitude of who wrote it left him speechless.

"From Daisuke? Yes, it's from him." Hikari wiped a few tears away. "He wrote back to us. Somehow, he found a way to reply my letter even though he's dead...he never ceases to amaze me."

They looked at each other, and then, without another word, they both sat down and started reading the letter. An Angel's Letter.

_And in the distance_

_You can hear the smile of an angel_

_Like a soft melody in your heart_

_Warming everybody_


End file.
